I can still hear my dad saying, “This is going to hurt me more than it does you.” He was never angry but disappointed and calm as he would raise his belt, busting my hiney in disciplining me for breaking family and God’s rules.
After the punishment I could see the turmoil in his soul as his countenance, marked by facial expressions and tears in his eyes, would drastically change. My dad would hug me and tell me “Son, I love you” encouraging me to change my behavior.
I constantly found myself on the wrong side of God’s rules that my parents tried to live by, that put me in the middle of the consequences of my actions. Every instance was not worthy of a whupping, but it taught me reverence and to be respectful with a watchful eye for Godly teaching and the strength to shun evil as it surrounded my life. It taught me understanding what type of behavior was acceptable and what was not acceptable.
God’s word in Proverbs 4:14-15, “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.” This emphasizes the importance of making choices that align with your faith and avoiding those that do not.
How far have we progressed from past generations to the present? Sure, we love our children, but do we show it? Do our children feel our love in their hearts? Do our children’s actions hurt us more than it hurts them?
Many parents do not seem to care anymore. We give our children a phone at an early age as a “babysitting” tool to just stay out of our hair. Games, perverted internet sites, and evil become the tools our children are using in their journey into adulthood. Our children are learning principles and values from a false reality that has redefined parenthood to where absolute right or wrong becomes nonexistent. In this perverted lifestyle where the parent refuses or is unable to provide the love and Godly guidelines a child needs, the family structure is damaged far into the future.
Children need to know what to expect, the guidelines of behavior, with expectations of approval or disapproval, to cling to when they are overwhelmed by the pressing needs of everyday life. It is important for children to truly feel their parents’ love. When children experience, trust, and learn to share love, they are less likely to seek affection from people outside the family who may not have their best interests at heart.
Frequently parents become the product of our times and overlook how important showing interest in their children’s lives is essential in establishing a strong family structure. When parents are not present for their children, it can give the impression that they are indifferent. Eventually, personal gain becomes the priority over meaningful relationships. Parents are the fundamental factor in the crisis of deterioration of the family structure.
Parents are instructed in the Bible to raise their children with love and guidance, teaching them God’s ways and setting a positive example, and ensuring they understand moral values, as illustrated in Deuteronomy 6:6-7. Children often model the things that are lived in front of them, especially their parents, and incorporate their behavior as a model of how to act in their personal lives. Negative examples can be detrimental to our children’s development and lead to unacceptable behavior and children that turn out just like us.
We need to love our children in the same way that God loves us, helping them build self-worth and a strong sense of identity. This loving foundation is crucial for their growth and eventual success.
The Bible teaches that love is the highest virtue (1 Corinthians 13:13); through love, we gain the ability to understand and empathize with our children’s needs.
Love in childcare goes beyond showing affection. When raising our children, do we truly grasp what is meant by the phrase, “This will hurt me more than it does you.”?
Jim Coonrod is a Marine Corps veteran and an avid gardener. He lives in Collinsville.